Greater Ashtabula Open (GAO)

HEADlines

KINNEY WINS!!!

In a stunning upset, Ian Kinney prevails at this years Greater Ashtabula Open.  The winners ceremony was conducted after the prestigious dinner gala. Apparently the liberal use of spirits during the event contributed to the pandemonium that broke out after Jim Kingston announced Kinney as the winner.  Chants of “recount”, “foot wedge” and “cheater” echoed in ceremony hall.   After order was restored, Kinney politely accepted his award and offered a short speech.  Kinney thanked his father for his impact on him and the tournament.  (It is not widely know that the trophy is based on Jack and his renowned swing.

Notes…. Scott “Grumpy” Coursen led all player in the fewest puts category.— This years tournament was shortened by one hole due to weather for the first time in its history.  Lightening stopped play on the final day twice. The second time for good. — The former champion, Jim Kingston, got sloppy with his balls in the woods.  Jim’s playing partner, Doug Headman, found Jim’s ball lodged in a tree.  — The 2011 tournament was the hottest on record with the average playing temperature above ninety and the humidity percentage nearly the same.  — It has been rumored that the changes to next year’s scoring format could hold some challenges for the contestants.  — The were unconfirmed reports that stool napping documentation from 1980/81 was circulated at the event per M. Hedberg’s request.